Archive for Jupiter Ascending

The 2015 Bang, Marry, Kill Orgy: Rob Cohen, The Wachowski Siblings, George Miller, Tarsem Singh & J.J. Abrams.

Posted in Action, Action, Bang Marry Kill, Comedy, Comedy, Date Movies, Drama, Sci Fi/ Fantasy, Thriller, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 18, 2016 by notlaz


To answer your last question, yes, the Dutch eat farts.

I did it last year, so in the spirit of not having anything better to do, here’s the 2015 Bang, Marry, Kill wrap-up.

BB-8 approves

BB-8 approves!

What? I reviewed 5-ish directors in 2015 for movieMixology’s Bang, Marry, Kill series. Each right before they released new movies into theaters, in a crass attempt to piggy-back site clicks off their hard work. All while I nurtured my alcohol addiction and lazily threw out dick jokes.

The tortured artists: Rob Cohen, The Wachowski Siblings, George Miller, Tarsem Singh and J.J. Abrams.

Their 2015 masterpieces: The Boy Next Door, Jupiter Ascending, Mad Max: Fury Road, Self/less and Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens.

Continue reading

Jupiter Ascending: Whoa. Wow? Lol?

Posted in 5, Action, New Releases, Ratings, Reviews, Sci Fi/ Fantasy with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 16, 2015 by mducoing

Jupiter AscendingAndy Wachowski and Lana Wachowski (as The Wachowskis and/or The Wachowski Siblings, see our latest BMK for more details) have delivered another visually arresting cinematic event that has everything you could possibly want in one movie. However, that is because they have apparently put everything possible into this movie, ever, that you could imagine, ever, and it certainly feels like it. Ushers should pass out Valium or Dramamine before/after screenings.

Premise: An Earth woman is the unwitting heir to a vast galactic fortune, if only she can survive the threats from her supposed royal family. Result: Way too much going on but amidst the overstuffed chaos is some fun.

The preposterous dialogue is the first horror to hit audiences in the film, wafting over audiences like the scent of skunk and strawberries – awful but peculiar enough to keep us wondering. Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) begrudgingly, almost absently narrates her own tale blandly recalling her father, supposedly an astronomy student obsessed with his telescope, and her mother, whose lack of English may have helped the union form. Then, after getting her preggers, Dad dies in a completely inexplicable robbery in their own apartment that seems to surprise no one.

Continue reading

Bang, Marry, Kill: The Wachowski Siblings

Posted in Action, Articles, Bang Marry Kill, Comedy, Laz's View, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 6, 2015 by notlaz



Hey, the Wachowski Brothers Siblings have a movie coming out this week… Click the article. Do it. Click it. Click it. Click it!

Click Me!

Subject(s): The Wachowski Siblings

We look like the villains in our own movies!

We look like the villains in our own movies.


Birth dates: One on the same day as Chinese Astronaut, Yang Liwei. The other during Star Trek’s “Trouble with Tribbles” episode (which inspired some of Orci & Kurtzman’s biggest unintentional laughs).

Hometown: They grew up in the same mean streets that created some of history’s greatest monsters: Al Capone, John Wayne Gacy, Richard Speck, and Jenny McCarthy.

Occupations: Former Jay & Silent Bob cosplayers. Current Eastern European rave-club owners. Directors.

Best known for: The Matrix

Continue reading

%d bloggers like this: