The Three Stooges: Reminiscing About Slapstick We Never Wanted to See in the First Place…And Still Don’t!

Soup to Nuts, the original Three Stooges first film, appeared in Hollywood in 1930.  Since that time the antics of these three dim-witted but kind-hearted nincompoops have been adored by millions around the world.   Brothers Bobby Farrelly and  Peter Farrelly (Hall Pass, Kingpin, Dumb & Dumber) sought to recapture and reignite some of that magic with their latest film; however, instead this comedy duo simply managed to prove that this brand of comedy is largely outdated.

Premise: Moe, Larry, and Curly stumble into a murder plot and wind up starring in a reality TV show, all while trying to save their childhood orphanage. Result: This film must have sounded much better on better, is all that can be said.

The Three Stooges takes the lives of Larry (Sean Hayes), Curly (Will Sasso) and Moe (Chris Diamantopoulos) from their time as orphans at St. Mercy’s through present day as the trio stumbles dimly in an attempt to save that same orphanage from ruin. Run by Mother Superior (Jane Lynch), the orphanage is home to the cutest band of wide-eyed children known to man, causing audiences to wonder if these faces were borrowed from some depressing Sarah McLaughlin charity video someplace.

The orphanage is plagued by the demonic mischief of these three, causing the nuns, such as Sister Rosemary (Jennifer Hudson) and Sister Mary-Mengele (Larry David) to live in a perpetual state of fear and frustration.  Yup, you caught that…one of the nuns is played by Larry David, which frankly is one of the only consistently funny concepts of the film throughout (but more on that later.) Of course, these characters are ultimately just background fodder considering that despite decades passing, the Farrelly’s don’t even bother to age them, adding more to the ever growing pile of errors.

This caper is basically a tongue-in-cheek remake of the original films hardly infused with any sort of modernity, and so we have scene after scene of the bizarre slapstick antics, the weird, annoying noises and a painfully transparent clichéd plot that is funny for being so desperately childish.  It appears that the orphanage is out of money and the nitwits decide that they must raise the money despite no plan or skills to speak of. Sigh.

Enter Lydia (Sofía Vergara) and Mac (Craig Bierko), two love birds who are plotting to have her husband killed.  Of course, sensing that the Three Stooges are aptly named, they agree to pay the fools the money they need in exchange for killing her husband.   This concept drags onward eventually becoming a crucible of mindless the antics. A few laughs are scattered here and there, of course, especially when the cast of the Jersey Shore gets involved (we laugh at them), but ultimately nothing sticks.  Scene after scene becomes more irritating with fewer and fewer meager payoffs to account for.

In fairness, the Farrelly Brothers do a good job of remaking this Stooges concept, bringing the 30s vaudevillians back from the grave to explode on screen.  While watching them, it is easy to be reminded of the originals and the strong showing these pretenders make in their mimicry. Ultimately, however, this film is a remake of a concept that lives on better as a past period of time, best judged in that context.  Here it is a noticeable anachronism, antiquated and absurd, out of place like Jesus riding a dinosaur. And the novelty, if there was any to be had, wears off quickly.

Fortunately, the acting in the film is generally good, doing its best to imitate a genre that should have been left to rest. Sasso, Hayes and Diamantopoulos do a great job of recreating the Stooges, acting as the central figures in this film and keeping it afloat.  I can only imagine how truly agonizing this film would have been if they couldn’t get that right.  There’s nothing worse than a bad movie that has bad impersonations.

The rest of the cast is hit or miss, but never too far from the mark either way. Vergara and Bierko have a few hit moments but overall, the characters themselves weren’t interesting enough to be much fun. Stephen Collins as Mr. Harter was above average, playing a scheming attorney that gave a new name to ambulance chaser.  Of all the nuns, Larry David had the best role, as Mary-Mengele, the aptly named curmudgeon sister who is the long-time nemesis for the boys.  David is hysterical every time he opens his grimacing mouth, cackling and cawing at every turn. 

In the end, The Three Stooges was a “never-shoulda” remake, devoid of the audience and context to make it interesting.  It may have been interesting as a drama biopic about the Stooges or frankly anything else; but in this form, it only serves to remind us that some forms of slapstick have become extinct, and for good reason.

Rating: 4 – A case of PBR and a “Dear John” letter