Dark Shadows: Some Fun, Some Strange, Mostly Mediocre

Collaborating once again with Johnny Depp and wife Helena Bonham Carter, Director Tim Burton has cultivated in Dark Shadows some unexpected results. The first half of the film is surprisingly fun, energizing and coherent, a feat thought largely impossible from the trailers alone.  However, this results in a downside as well: the success of the first half creates higher than average expectations for the latter and sadly, these expectations, victimized by plot incoherence and some shockingly poor decision making, are far from fulfilled.

Premise: Imprisoned by a jealous witch, vampire Barnabas Collins is set free and returns to his ancestral home, where his dysfunctional descendants are in need of his protection. Result: A film that starts out strong only to end at the bottom of a cinematic ravine.

Based on the cult-classic 60s television series, Dark Shadows spans several centuries to cover the afflicted life of a Mr. Barnabas Collins (Depp).  The heir to a Maine Seafood Fortune cultivated by the British Collins family, Barnabas grows up in Collinsport (named for the family) in an American castle, known as Collinwood, in the late Eighteenth Century. Everything works wonderfully for Barnabas until his affair with the lovely housemaid Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green) is cut short by his failure to reciprocate her love.

To Barnabas’s great misfortune, Bouchard turns out to be a powerful witch and uses all sorts of sinister sorcery to not only murder his parents and his true love Josette (Bella Heathcote), but also turn him into a Vampire to prolong his suffering for all of time.  She then has the townspeople bury the creature, never to be heard from again.

Of course, he is heard from again when a construction team happens upon his coffin and unwittingly releases him (note to reader: should you ever stumble upon a coffin that not only has been chained closed but also happens to move violently, run, don’t walk, away). Here Burton does a wonderful job of balancing humor and horror: in one moment Collins is joking, in another he is killing a half dozen people, and then back to joking again.  The moods switch quite frequently but also deftly, keeping the audience invested despite the emotional roller coaster.

Collins then reports to Collinwood, now in ruins, to resume the life that had been stolen from him. Here he stumbles upon a ragged Elizabth Collins Stoddard (Michelle Pfeiffer) who is the de facto head of the crumbling household.  Within the 1972 Collinwood dwell some of the more bizarre creatures Burton has coinsured (and this not including the witch or vampire.)

Brother Roger (Jonny Lee Miller) is half deadbeat dad and half petty thief, daughter Carolyn (Chloë Grace Moretz) who looks desperate to take a mouth full of high-Octane meds, nephew David (Gulliver McGrath), who is supposedly crazy for seeing visions of his dead mother, and Dr. Hoffman (Bonham Carter) who juggles caring for David’ psychosis and her own alcoholism. Of course, there is also the help, consisting of old lady mute-pants Mrs. Johnson (Ray Shirley), Willie Loomis (Jackie Earle Haley) who seems to have just escaped from Shawshank Prison, and, of course, the new and not a minute too soon Governess Victoria Winters (also Heathcote).

Ultimately, the film follows several key storylines, some better than others.  At the forefront are Barnabas’ actions to turn Collinwood into an inhabitable castle once more and the business into the pride of their family.  This, of course, invites the ire of the villainous Bouchard who seeks to both destroy and (lovingly?) ensnare Barnabas.  There is, of course, the third plotline that reunites Barnabas with a supposed ancestor of his former love.  As these plots build, there is significant humor intermingled with trademark Burton darkness that makes the film both entertaining and exciting.

But as the film nears its second half, the novelty has largely worn off.  This is due to some mind-boggling errors from Burton and his team.  At first, there is only an inkling that the bright lights of this film are flickering: a few bad jokes here and there, but not enough to distract from what is going well.

However, then, like some sudden phantom, the calamity is upon the audience and the echoes of screeching wheels overwhelms.  Scene after scene becomes more absurd than the last; some moments are just silly, taking their tolls as the story builds, but some just come completely out of nowhere (why is there a werewolf?  Why the ghost screamer?) As the chaos subsides at film’s end, we are left with a resolution that is rushed, clumsy, unfunny, and disappointing.  Unacceptably, it appears somehow like Burton lost interest in the film by the mid-mark and was replaced by a local grade school prose assignment.

The acting in the film is strong, however.  Depp, as always, manages to make this character memorable, fully embodying the creature, letting himself seep into every pore.  While at times the character clearly becomes a bit absurd and the even annoying, this is mostly due to the script he had to work with than the delivery. Green is also quite strong as the villain, swinging like a pendulum from seductive to maniacal. Pfieiffer is also quite strong, perhaps the most consistent along with Depp, as a shrewd but tired matriarch, embodying loth, exhaustion, and creepiness.

Haley and Bonham Carter are additional treats in the film; Bonham Carter is awkward and eerie as always, embodying the true aesthetic her husband has cultivated so assiduously.  Haley, for his part, is ten parts creepy, twenty parts filthy, and all the rest pure comedy.  His glassy eyes and slack-jawed musings are comedic gold and help to keep some scenes moving that otherwise would have sat in squalor.

Overall, Dark Shadows exceeds only expectations that were painfully low to begin with.  The film is enjoyable for a significant amount of time, but ends poorly, ebbing from cringe-inducing to just plain boredom.  Nevertheless, Burton does manage to do enough with the film to keep Dark Shadows from being a failure.  Instead, the film is a fair representation of the series and an equally middle of the road entertainment experience. Considering the final scenes, this is quite the compliment.

Rating: 6 – A mediocre Prosecco that a cute bartender served you