The Top 10 Highest Grossing Movies of All Time (and why humanity is DOOMED because of them) Part 1

 

No need for a long-winded intro here. We’re looking at the top ten highest grossing movies of all time and examining all the horrifying things that they imply about human nature.

Adjusted for inflation, of course, because I’d rather toss a hobo’s salad than watch Transformers 3, Harry Potter 8 or Furious 7 from the unadjusted list.

10. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)

Source

The scene in the photo isn’t nearly as sexy as it looks.

Adjust gross revenue: $1,819,000,000

Historical context: Everything sucked in 1937. Shirley Temple was their Megan Fox, Errol Flynn was their Vin Deisel, Clark Gable was their George Clooney, and Jean Harlow was their YouPorn. You try spanking it to this and tell me you wouldn’t rather watch an Albino spaz wandering through the forest, shacking up with 7 mini Unabombers and singing to animals while they pooped on her instead?

Found Footage 3D: A New Direction in Horror Films? A Modest Discussion with Director Steve DeGennaro

Scream. Se7en. The Silence of the Lambs. The Blair Witch Project. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Night of the Living Dead. The list of classic horror films can go on and on. But much longer and far more depressing is the list of films that either missed the mark or purposefully attempted to ruin us. And in an age of gimmicky tactics and studio-driven cliché, that list only suggests an eternal lengthening.

Is there hope for horror films? Or are we destined for a perpetual landscape of reductive blather and pointless slashing without rhyme or reason? At best should we hope for a genre that survives on a “diamond in the rough” model, or can we expect a future of more consistently, well-made, well-conceived horror with the rest relegated to “straight to DVD” (in a future devoid of DVD players).

This article will not answer that question, but will attempt to offer some ray of hope.The impetus for this line of thinking comes from a (fairly) recent conversation with director and self-described horror-aficionado Steve DeGennaro. Setting out to understand what makes his new film Found Footage 3D good, the conversation inadvertently reminded us what makes certain horror films not only worth watching but worth remembering.

 

Top 6 Horror Films of Early 1990s: 1990-1994

As the 90s began, there was some trepidation that they could not live up to the brilliant classics that sprouted in the 80s such as A Nightmare on Elm Street, Child’s Play and Friday the 13^th. However, there were several strong horror-thrillers that did, in fact, power their way to classic horror status, several of which are considered classics the best across all genres.

Top 6 Horror Films 1990-1994

1. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
2. Flatliners (1990)
3. The Dark Side of the Moon (1990)
4. Popcorn (1991)
5.  Nightbreed (1990)
6. Bran Stoker’s Dracula (1992)

 

Top 6 Horror Films of Late 1990s: 1995-1999

The 90s, by many accounts, is not a decade marked by the height of cinema.  This is also largely true in the horror genre.  However, there are a select few classics which not only having staying power in film memory, but several of which helped transform horror for years to come.  While many good horror films are not included in this list, the list provided is a good guide to \the most terrifying, chilling or thrilling the latter half of the decade had to offer.

Top 6 Horror Films 1995-1999

1. Event Horizon (1997)

2. Se7en (1995)

3. Scream (1996)

4. In the Mouth of Madness (1995)

5.  Screamers (1995)

6. The Blair Witch Project (1995)

Top 6 Horror Films of Late 2000s: 2006-2010

As the Naughty Aughties (c. 2000-2010/12) continued, audiences saw the evolution of the horror film genre by building on techniques and elements found in works from early in the decade.  Notable films such as Saw and Hostel ushered in the proliferation of gore that can be found in powerful films of the latter decade such as The Hills Have Eyes and The Collector. Monsters and The Supernatural, which seeped from such films as The Grudge, The Ring and The Descent found new homes in Cloverfield and Paranormal Activity, now evolved through the use of single-camera views made famous by The Blair Witch Project.

Top 6 Horror Films 2006-2010  

1. Cloverfield (2008)
2. The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
3. The Collector (2009)
4. The Strangers (2008)
5. Paranormal Activity (2007)
6. The Mist (2007)

Top 6 Horror Films of Early 2000s: 2001-2005

The beginning of the aptly named “Naughty Aughties” (c. 2000-2010/12) was a time in the horror/thriller genre to set precedents and “change the game.”  While no one can deny the impact of classics like Mansquito and Frankenfish, there were several game changing films that surfaced during the first half of last decade.  These films not only honored their genre through the complex waves of terror they summoned in audiences, but reached heights that would be emulated countless times over the following years.

The Top 6 Horror Films of the Early 2000s

1.  The Descent (2005)
2.  Saw (2004)
3. The Ring (2002)
4. 28 Days Later (2002)
5. The Grudge (2004)
6. Hostel (2005)